The Right Royal Caper

There was a curious anomaly the other day. Research is needed. Nobody bought clothes for about 9 hours. You see, my partner runs a woman’s e-commerce business and sells all the clothes outside Ghana. High quality, classically designed and drawing 500 plus visits every day. Sales are great, even during these hard times. Then, at roughly 11-00 am one fateful morning last week, everything ceased, as if we were in a science fiction movie – you know, when everybody wakes up and discovers they have lost nine hours of their lives, checking their bodies for undulating movement under the skin. Kate and William announced they were to be married.

One assumes it was this and not something even more bizarre like a trial run of the virus that will end the world as we know it, that was the cause. What happened belied the science of statistics. Look at the patterns of buyer activity on any day and you have hot spots and cooler periods but you don’t have no activity for nine hours!

Now, the full royal machine is running on its well-oiled cogs. The right wing press is oohing and aahing. This is going to be a wedding for everyone! You are all invited. Westminster Abbey. 2000 guests. Everyone? Have an extra day’s holiday, businesses won’t mind paying the wages, the PAYE.

It feels like after the nine hours I woke up to discover that I had passed on the other side of the looking glass. Wars, famine, disease, nuclear bombs, killer viruses, Armageddon had all been left behind. Never mind all that, let’s have a nice cup of tea and watch the bluebloods at play. That’s the reality. And the royal confidantes have been on-screen warn us in their cut glass accents that the Windsors will have to be careful and make the wedding seem not too glitzy like the Charles and Diana do because the poor people won’t like it, you know, they are suffering a recession….

For me, for what it’s worth (not much, I know), having a royal family is having a keystone in the arch of a largely corrupt and iniquitous establishment. If you are a top stone, everything is fine. But the rest of us hold them up, unable to move because of the weight of their wealth and vested interests.

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